There are no right or wrong answers here. But to the extent you think these through as a parent and then actively communicate your philosophy with your high school student your son or daughter will know what to expect. Here are a few questions for you start with.
- How do you feel about your daughter going to college?
- What are the advantages of college? This is a critical one; spend some time really thinking and researching it. If you attended college a generation ago, do not assume that your daughter will have the same experience. Do not assume that college is as a sure thing as it might have been a few decades ago.
- What are the disadvantages of attending college other than the cost and investment of time?
- Would you be embarrassed if your daughter did not attend college? Your friends are bragging about Susie heading off to Princeton and all you can talk about is Mary starting as a waitress at Mel’s Diner.
- Do you think college is a great investment at any cost?
- Some parents insist that their son work for a year before going to college. What do you see as the pros and cons of this requirement?
- If your daughter goes to college, how much are you willing to help financially and if so what conditions do you plan to put on this support?
- How do you feel about your son going into the military after high school? If he heads to the military rather than going to college are you willing to provide the same amount of Post High School subsidies? If so you are rare. Most parents will subsidize college, or even just hanging around the house but rarely will they subsidize military service, going to work or starting a new business.
- If your son attends college, what do you consider a full load?
- How do you feel about your daughter starting a business after high school? If she starts a business rather than attending college are you willing to provide the same amount of Post High School subsidies?
- How do you feel about your daughter working at a non-profit (for no pay or benefits) immediately after high school? If she does this are you willing to subsidize her to some degree and if she subsequently attends college will you provide the same amount of college subsidies that you would have provided if she had attended college immediately after high school?
- Are you willing or able to provide any subsidies at all after high school? If not is it clear to your son? If you are not going to provide any subsidies it makes sense to communicate this early rather than at the high school graduation ceremonies.
- If your son starts at an entry level job at the local utility are you willing to provide the same amount of Post High School subsidies? If not are you willing to provide any subsidies?
- How do you feel about your son living with you after high school? Do you feel the same about it when he is 19 years old as when he is 35?
- If your daughter attends college, how many years are you willing to subsidize? Consider that only about 53% of students that start college have graduated within six years.
- If your son attends college are you willing to support him studying virtually any subject? Some college subjects (like Accounting and Engineering) usually result in related jobs after college where other degrees (like Psychology and Theatre) are rarely generating good paying jobs after college.
- Are you willing to subsidize an impractical education (Gender Studies, Sociology, Art Appreciation) to the same extent that you are willing to subsidize a more practical field?
- Are you willing to subsidize your daughter attending graduate school right after she completes her undergraduate degree? Even if the only reason is that she has studied a subject (like Ethnomusicology in her undergraduate studies) that has no demand and it is either going to work at McDonalds or attending Grad school. How much are you willing to subsidize graduate school?
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